Internet, Cellphones, and WHAT?
by redstar-leader-of-thunderclan
Summary: Everything happens in this story. Almost nothing is off limits, from stealing twoleg things, to court hearings, to cat sacrifices, to secret agents, we have it all, at a convenient price for you. Currently on Hiatus/Probably never going to be updated
1. Chapter 1

**There are parts in this chapter I've had to re-format because some people actually read the rules and agreements or whatever and chat format is a big no-no, so I had to fix it. Also, this writing sucks. But I won't mess with the writing in general. I like to see how I've improved. Also, I noticed that I tended to switch from past tense to present tense… just ignore that.**

**HI! I have a Disclaimer: I don't own, Warriors, Motorola Razers, google, Ebay, Nokia or any other thing mentioned in this story. I only own the story.**

One rainy day, while Firestar was sitting in his den surfing the Internet with his new laptop, he went to google. When he was there he typed in "cheap cellphones" his old one, a nokia, was blown up by Lionnpaw with Firestar's secret granade launcher (which isn't so secret now), but that's another story. Anyway once Firestar was there, under the big cool google thing was the first result. Ebay! "What the Starclan, is Ebay?" Firestar asked the air. He clicked on it. Up popped this really cool website.

Firestar went up to the thingy where you type in what you want to get. He typed in "Motorola Razr" up popped all these listings for Razr's. He clicked on the one that said, "Blue Motorola Razr". He then saw a picture of a "pretty" blue Razr. He saw that the highest bidding was $150. He then typed in $239. He wondered what would happen next. It told him to put in his e-mail, and he would get an e-mail that told him if he won (**AN: I don't know if this is what happens, I don't use Ebay I only look to see something for somebody).** He typed in, , and waited. It then told him, he would receive an e-mail to tell him if he got the cell-phone by the end of the day. The laptop's instant messenger dinged. He looked at it. It was Onestar. He decided while he was waiting to get an e-mail from "Ebay" he might as well talk to Onestar. He clicked on the thingy.

Onestar_is_awesome says, "Hi. Waz up Fire?"

Hot_Fire says, "I'm waiting for an e-mail from Ebay."

Onestar_is_awesome says, "Waz Ebay?"

Hot_Fire says, "It's this website where you can get cool cheap stuff and you bid, and if you are the highest bidder you get the thing."

Onestar_is_awesome says, "COOL! I'm gonna go there!"

Onestar_is_awesome has left to go to Ebay.

Hot_Fire has left to take a nap.

Firestar closed his laptop lid and curled up in his nest.

Meawhile…

Squirrelflight was day dreaming in her nest in the warrior's den when her silver razr rang. She was startled out of a daydream. She flipped open the phone. "Hey," she meows into the phone.

Tawnypelt replies, "Hey girl what's up?"

Squirrelflight yawns and says, "Nothing. What are you doing? I think my dad is getting a new phone."

"Um, why?" Tawnypelt meows.

"Oh, um… Lionpaw… kind of… umm… blew it up with dad's "secret" granade launcher." Squirrelflight informs her.

"Firestar has a granade launcher? Damn, Blackstar only has a machine gun. I used it once to threaten Russetfur! It was awesome," Tawnypelt laughs at the memories.

"I think Daddy has one of those too!" Squirrelflight giggles into the phone.

"I know this is totally random, but what do you think your kits are going to be named?" Tawnypelt rapidly changes the subject.

"Hmmm… I think I'll ask daddy if he'll name Lionpaw, Lionheart after that awesome noble cat that died before I was born. Jaypaw would make a good Jayfeather. And Hollypaw would make a good Hollyleaf. What do you think?" Squirrelflight answers. **(Brief interlude: Gosh, I was awesome at predicting those, was I not?)**

"That is awesomeo 2,000! You should suggest those," Tawnypelt tells her.

"Yeah, I know, am I an awesomeo 2,000 name thinker uppper, or what?" Squirrelflight sounds smug.

"Yeah, you are. Hey, hold on. TIGERKIT! GET OFF OF THAT ROCK! NO! I AM YOUR MOTHER AND YOU WILL LISTEN! GET YOU FRICKEN BUTT OF OF THERE!" Tawnypelt yells very loudly, making Squirrelflight jump.

"Woah. Is Tigerkit climbing that huge rock again? One of these days, he's going to fall and smash his head open," Squirrelflight says.

"Yeah, I know. Crap. I said I'd go meet what's his name, for a coffee. Talk to you later!" Tawnypelt meows.

"Bye! I'll talk to you tomorrow or something!" Squirrelflight meows before hanging up the phone.

Squirrelflight shuts the top of the phone and goes into the clearing, to tell Brambleclaw that she is smartacle.

Meanwhile, Firestar was waking up from his nap. He got out of his nest and stretched. He then padded over to his really small table (that Lionpaw had snatched from the twolegs) and opened the lid of his lap-top. He went on his e-mail and went to his inbox.

There was an e-mail from E-bay! He clicked on it. This is what it said:

_CONGRATULATIONS! You are the highest bidder for_ the silver motorola razr, cellphone _! Please reply by copying the form below, filling it out and forwarding it to us!_ _Your cellphone will arrive 7 days after you send this!_

So Firestar copied the form and put it on a new-email. He then filled it out.

**FULL NAME:** Fire Star

**ADDRESS:** 234 PO box, Lake View, VT, 05828  (**AN: I know they don't live in the US, but I know of nothing about the UK, so I just did this)**

**PHONE NUMBER: **1-802-673-3490

**AGE: **48

It was obvious that Firestar had lied by saying that he was 48, which was just how old he was in moons, with 4 moons a season and just taking of the "moons" part and writing 48. Now he was really happy that Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight had insisted they get a PO box at the twoleg place for mail. He would have Lionpaw sneak in and get the mail when it came. He then finished and decided to take another nap.

Meanwhile…

"YES, BUT SQIURRELFLIGHT, I WAS JUST STATING A FACT!" Brambleclaw was having an argument about Squirrelflight and her being "smarticle".

"SOOO? I MADE UP THE WORD SMARTICLE! IT MEANS AWESOMELY SMART! ALSO, KIND OF WEIRD!" Squirrelfight yelled at the big headed tabby.

"Squirrelflight, if you want you can use it. If you made it up, then I guess you can use it. It counts as a word then," Brambleclaw sucks up to Sqiurrelflight.

"Thank you! Now come with me, you nice big tabby," She purrs to him. He purrs with delight and follows her into the Warrior's den. Her head popped out to put up a sign, that said: DO NOT DISTURB!

**Well, that was interesting! Find out what happens with Lionpaw and getting the mail for Firestar. And how the heck will Ashfur get 20 pounds of peanut butter? BYE! **

**Hugs and Licks!**


	2. Naughty Ashfur

HI

**HI!! It's been about three months since I last typed on this story, and I really DO NOT remember why Ashfur was getting 20 pounds of peanut butter. But I'll just think of a reason on the way! It has been 3 months because I first typed this at the beginning of June and it is now September. Heres we gos!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, Warriors, Motorola Razers, google, Ebay, Nokia or any other thing mentioned in this story. I only own the story.**

"Lionpaw!" Firestar yelled from his den. Then he curled up on his nice fluffy nest.

"Yes, Grandpa?" Lionpaw said as he padded in. He was slightly scared that Firestar had found out about him stealing that twoleg monster and driving it into the lake. So he was trying to be polite.

"Lionpaw, you need to go and get the mail! I ordered a cellphone!!" Firestar exclaimed. Lionpaw lifted up his paw and wiped sweat off his brow. Then nodded and padded away.

Later that night…

Lionpaw tiptoed up to the post office. He checked behind him and to the sides, then whipped out his claw, cut out a small circle in the glass door, then jumped through the hole. He padded silently up to the PO box, pulled a key out of his black cat hoodie, and inserted it into the key hole. He looked around him again.

Then stuck his paw into the box and pulled out…

A small box addressed to Firestar, 2 letters addressed to Leafpool (from Crowfeather), 10 cellphone bills addressed to a bunch of cats, 1 internet bill addressed to Firestar, 4 pay-checks addressed to Firestar, Leafpool, Brambleclaw, and Squirrelflight, 1 letter addressed to Lionpaw, and 1 newspaper addressed to Brambleclaw. And what was this? A PlayTom magazine? For Ashfur? Wow.

Lionpaw quickly slipped all of the mail into a black messenger bag he had brought with him, laughing as he slipped in the PlayTom magazine. _Ashfur. I can't believe he ordered this!_ Lionpaw thought to himself.

Everything he had with him had to be black so he could "blend in with the night". His golden fur kind of stuck out in the darkness. He then shut the box, and slipped the key back into his pocket.

He went through the hole, then went into the woods, brought back another post office door, took off the old one and screwed the new one on. This time he had _two_ keys made so he could have one, so he wouldn't have to keep replacing the door.

THE NEXT MORNING

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey, please, gather under the high ledge for a clan meeting!" Firestar shouted from the ledge outside his den. All the cats gathered below him.

"Okay, then, Lionpaw will be handing out your mail. So please get up and come get your mail when your name is called," Firestar said to his clan-mates. He liked to be organized. Lionpaw went down to the ground right in front of everybody.

"Leafpool!" Leafpool got up to collect her cellphone bill, her paycheck, and her letters. She then sat down. "Brambleclaw!" Brambleclaw collected his mail and sat down. "Squirrelflight!", she collected her mail and so on. Then there was only a magazine and a small box left.

"Firestar!" Firestar ran down from the ledge, snatched the box and tore it open. Out fell a shiny blue cellphone. He screamed for joy and ran up to his den. Everybody stared after him.

Then Lionpaw held up the magazine so everybody could see the gray she-cat in the red bikini on the front, and shouted, "ASHFUR!" So loud even Riverclan could hear. Everybody exploded in laughter.

As Ashfur walked slowly with his head down, up to Lionpaw to collect the magazine, there was laughter and jokes to be heard.

"So, Ashfur, you decided that without Squirrelflight you needed some other, distraction?" A cat to his left meowed.

He grabbed the magazine and looked back at Brambleclaw, the one who's laughter was the loudest off all, and said, "I'll get you Brambleclaw, I will!" Then he ran into his den.

For Brambleclaw had ordered it for Ashfur. He was having lots of fun with the internet. Picking on Ashfur was fun. Now, he couldn't wait for Ashfur to get the e-mail, Brambleclaw had written for Ashfur. Brambleclaw was still laughing as he walked away, only now it sounded more like, "Mwah-ha-ha!" while he went to visit Leafpool.

Meanwhile, Firestar was dancing around his den in joy. He set down his phone, then plugged it in. He then opened up his mail, starting with the paycheck. As he did this he thought back to the day, when the clan cats found out they needed "twoleg money" to buy things. So Starclan had decided that all cats would get paychecks according to their possition in the clan. On Fridays, Firestar, Leafpool, Brambleclaw, and Squirrelflight got paychecks. On Mondays, the other warriors got paychecks. Wednesday's were the days Queens got their checks and the elders got their social security checks. Parents gave their kits allowances.

Firestar liked this system because it was quite organized. He sliced the envelope with his emerald letter opener, to pull out his check. It was made out for 1,000 U.S dollars. The leaders were payed this much because they were expected to pay the internet bills, the T.V bills and they were always doing lots of work. Brambleclaw and Leafpool would get 700. The warriors and Queens got 500.

Then Firestar moved on to the internet bill. He groaned when he saw the bill. 100, again. Firestar wrote out the check and slipped it into an envelope. He padded over to his laptop. He signed into his e-mail. He had 5 new messages. One from Blackstar, one from Onestar, two from Spottedleaf, and one from Tigerstar. He sighed, and he clicked on the one from Blackstar.

It said:

_Hey dude, sup? I'm bored so can we, like, start a fight? I mean wouldn't that be awesome? Come on! U know u want 2._

Firestar replied:

_No thanks Blackstar. You know how I am about fighting. If we don't need too, then there is no sense in it. K? I got a new cell. Lionpaw blew my old one up. Bye._

He clicked on Onestar's.

_Hey Firestar! Um, I was wondering if I could borrow 50? Um, I know you don't want to waste money, but I REALLY need it. K? PLEASE?? _

Firestar sighed. Onestar was always borrowing money. He clicked on the reply button.

_Sure Onestar. It doesn't matter. I don't care. But, um, why do you need it this time? Well, byes!!_

He pressed send, then clicked on one of Spottedleaf's e-mail's.

_Hi Firestar! Just remember I love you so much! But there would never have been a future for us. Bye! I love you._

Firestar sighed again. Spottedleaf was always sending him these e-mails. But he still loved the medicine cat.

_Don't worry Spottedleaf. I will always remember. I love you so much. But Sandstorm is my mate and I love her just as much as you. Bye, my sweet Spottedleaf._

Firestar clicked on send. Then clicked on Spottedleaf's next e-mail.

_Firestar! There is trouble coming to the forest! Be careful! I don't want anything to harm you! I love you. Bye, my Firestar._

Firestar was confused. He shrugged and pressed reply.

_Ok, Spottedleaf. I'll keep watch for the trouble you say. I love you too. Bye, Beloved Spottedleaf._

Then Firestar clicked on the last e-mail. Tigerstar's e-mail.

_Hello, my most hated enemy. Just remember I will find a way to kill you._

Well then. Firestar clicked the reply button.

_Gotchya. You can try but you won't ever suceed. Bye freak._

Firestar shut the lap-top and stepped out of his den. All of a sudden there was a screech, "What the Tigerstar? Why is there... (something Firestar couldn't here)... in my den? Oh my Starclan! I'm allergic!!"

**Now who's allergic to what? Review and guess please. And thank you everybody who already did review. But, it might take a bit for me to write chapter 3. I'm not sure how long, 'cause I've been really busy. Ok? Bye everybody!**


	3. Peanunt Butter

**First things, first. You know, I never did exactly understand that expression, because if it was a first thing wouldn't it already be first? Nevermind. Anyway… Thanks, to all you awesome reviewers! I really didn't expect those awesome reviews. 'cause between me and my best friend Heather, she was always the funny one, not me. So I feel very special. You peeps, probably wanna get to the story but I HAVE to say something. When you clean out pumpkin guts, NEVER, and I repeat NEVER let you cat go anywhere near them. My cat ate some and well there was a lot of gross stuff for me to clean up. I still het shudders thinking about it. OK!!! HERES WE GO!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, Warriors, Motorola Razers, google, Ebay, Nokia or any other thing mentioned in this story. Sadly, this is because I am not the most awesome Erin Hunter and I am also not the millionare who created those cool things.**

"What the Starclan?" Firestar muttered to himself and jumped down and into the clearing. He made his way over to the warriors' den where the clan was beginning to gather. 

"Leader, coming through cats! Come on, let me through! Move, Dustpelt! I swear to Starclan I will have you exiled if you don't move, you great furry lump!" Firestar shouted as he forced his way through the crowd.

Brambleclaw was screaming his head off, yelling, "No! Get me out of here! There's peanut-butter in my nest! So much peanut butter! It's covering the whole den! Great Starclan, I'm allergic! I'm gonna die! Help me out of here! Leafpool!" Firestar's eyes widened as he saw the peanut butter explosion that covered the warriors' den.

"Who did this? Ok, everybody move your butts and go sit by the highledge. Now! Brambleclaw get your butt over to Leafpool, please. Now! Get a move on, Cloudtail," Firestar ordered his clan. He went over to the highledge and called Hollypaw over to him.

"Please take attendence, Hollypaw. I want to make sure we have everybody," He muttered to his grandaughter.

"Yes, Grandpa Firestar," Hollypaw replied. She whipped out a clipboard and started to call out names. She finished quickly. She looked at Firestar, "Ashfur's missing, grandpa," she told him.

"Oh, really? Will you go ask Leafpool if Brambleclaw's ok? I want to make sure he can come out here,"Firestar mewed."Spiderleg," Firestar asked for the long-legged cat. Spiderleg sped up in front of the ginger tom.

"Reporting for duty, sir!" Spiderleg saluted Firestar. Spiderleg had recently seen a milatary movie and had decided that Firestar was in comand so he was always ascting like he was in the army. Rather awkward, really. And funny.

"Yes, well, you need to find Ashfur. We have a tracking device on him. Go and look on my new cellphone, it should be programmed on there," Firestar told him.

"Yes, sir!" Spiderleg saluted Firestar and rushed up to Firestar's den. Firestar looked around and heaved a huge sigh. Leadership was just so hard, it really took a toll on him. He was looking forward to a long nap.

Hollypaw came rushing back with Brambleclaw and Leafpool in tow. Leafpool looked up at Firestar, "Yeah, Brambleclaw's fine Dad. He hardly even touched the peanut butter. You can have him. Would you like me to stay out here?" Leafpool told her father.

"Yeah, I want you to stay. Go get Jaypaw, please," Leafpol nodded and skipped away to the Medicine cat den. Firestar sat down and sighed. _Now where was Ashfur? Well, there was that PlayTom magazine… No, he wouldn't be doing that,_ Firestar thought. Then, Spiderleg came marching back to Firestar with a very guilty looking Ashfur.

Spiderleg saluted Firestar, "Back from duty, sir! Ashfur was hiding behind the nursery!"Spiderleg told Firestar, in his milatary voice.

"Ashfur, what do you have to say for yourself?" Firestar asked him, raising one eyebrow.

"I didn't do it, Firestar!"Ashfur piped up in a high voice.

"Oh, really? Well, I guess we need to have a… Court hearing!" Firestar boomed in a huge godly voice.

"But!" Ashfur shrieked. There hadn't been a hearing for 20 years!

"Yes! A court hearing! Now, where is Starclan?" Firestar yelled.

"Right here!" Everybody looked around.

"Look up!" Everybody looked up. To there amazement, starry cats were coming down from the sky. Spottedleaf ran right over to Firestar and started purring.

"Firestar! I can't believe you called for a hearing! I've always wanted to go to one of those," Spottedleaf said to Firestar.

"Ac-hem. Excuse me?" Sandstorm said in a sharp voice from behind Firestar.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll go and sit by… Lionheart," Spottedleaf mewed and turned her back. She then padded away and sat next to the huge cat.

"Firestar, since you are clan leader, you are the judge. All senior warriors and Thunderclan cats of Starclan, who have died since Firestar has been made an apprentice, you are the jurey. Graystripe is the cop dude. Everybody else, go sit in the stands," Bluestar meowed to the cats. Everybody nodded and went to their spots. Firestar dissapeared behind a thingy that had replaced the highledge.

"All rise, for the honorable Judge Firestar!"Graystripe comanded in a loud voice. All rose, though Jaypaw, did trip over Leafpool. Firestar entered in a black robe. He climbed up the steps and sat behind his podium. He pulled out that hammer thingy and pounded the podium.

"Order in the court!" Firestar screamed.

"You may sit!" Graystripe said, a bit to late.

"Today we have the case of the peanut butter," Firestar called out.

**I am so mean. Sorry people, but I had to leave off like that. I'll try to have the next chapter up by Thursday, but it might not be until Saturday. Or it might be up before that, maybe even Monday the 3****rd****. Can you peeps tell me what that hammer thing is called? It might help with the next chapter. Everybody who reviews gets something special from me. Maybe a virtual hug or virtual cookie. I just went trick-or-treating with my nephew and he wouldn't dress up. It was terrible. I have a LOT of candy though. Kays! Bye, you awesome people!**


	4. Court Hearing

**Hello, fellow Warriors fans! How are you peeps today? I am good. All you awesome reviewers get… a virtual Firestar plushy! I wish they made Firestar plushies… Anyway, the chapter name for chapter three was spelted wrong. I spelt PEANUNT BUTTER and it's supposed to be PEANUT BUTTER. Sorry for my terrible mistake. And, thanks for the help with the name of the hammer thingy, excuse me, gavel. You guys who told me what it was, get a virtual jar of peanut butter with your plushie for all that help!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, Warriors, Motorola Razers, Google, Ebay, Nokia or any other thing mentioned in this story. Sadly, this is because I am not the most awesome Erin Hunter and I am also not the millionare who created those cool things. I only own this story. It's mine! Back off!!!**

"Ashfur, Brambeclaw, you have lawyers, I presume?" Firestar asked the two toms who were sitting at their sepearate tables. Sadly, there was only Ferncloud sottong behind Ashfur on his side of the court. Everyone else was crammed on Brambleclaw's side.

"I do! Stormfur, will you please come here and defend me?" Brambleclaw asked for the gray tom.

"Yeah. Coming! Make way for the awesome lawyer!" Stormfur came rushing to the front of the clearing, with a suit and tie on. In his left paw he was carrying a brief-case. He sat down beside Brambleclaw and lifted the top of his brief-case up and began to rummage through it.

"Ok. Ashfur?" Firestar gave Stormfur a look and then turned to face the scared looking warrior.

"Um, well. No, Firestar, I guess I don't," Ashfur muttered.

"Then, I shall apoint you a lawyer!" Firestar declared. He pulled out a list of Thunderclan cats. He skipped past all of the jury members and searched throught the list. He shooke his head a little and nodded. His eyes kept going up and down, up and down. Finally they stopped.

"Ah, yes, perfect," He murmered quietly.

"Mosskit will be your lawyer!" Firestar yelled out to Ashfur.

"What?! He's only a kit! What can he do?" Ashfur exclaimed.

"He is very talented. Besides, you have no choice," Firestar told the tom. Ashfure slomped in his seat. Out came Mosskit, dressed in a navy blue suit and a red tie. He stomped over to Ashfur and sat down. He glared at Ashfur.

"I don't like you very much," Mosskit announced to the tom seated right beside him. Ashfur sighed and banged his head on the table. Mosskit raised an eyebrow and scooted away from the senile tom. He looked up at Firestar with pleading eyes. Firestar shook his head. Mosskit pouted and stared down at the table.

"Let us begin!" Firestar yowled. He then looked at Brambleclaw. "Now, what exactly is your case against ?" Firestar questioned Brambleclaw.

"He, you, Leafpool and the cats who went to the sun-drown place were the only ones who knew about my client, 's, peanut butter allergy," Stormfur said standing up and padding to the front of the clearing.

"Yes, yes. But what is your case?" Firestar asked Stormfur.

"Well, do you really think, that you or the medicine cat or his own friends and mate would actually want to hurt him? Or, do you think the tom who has sworn revenge on my client, to do such a horrible thing to Brambleclaw?" Stormfur pointed out. Ashfur stood up and glared at Stormfur.

"But, it wa-," Asfur was cut off my Mosskit.

"You have no right to blame my client without evidence of Ashfur hurting Brambleclaw," Mosskit protested. Stormfur cleared his throat.

"Well, they're a few reasons Ashfur would have for putting peanut butter in Brambleclaw's nest. One, Brambleclaw "stole" back Squirrelflight from him. Though, Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw had obviously been meant for eachother and Ashfur had no right to make a move on Squirrelflight. Two, Brambleclaw has mortally embarrassed Ashfur uncountable times in front of the clan. And I remember Ashfur saying, I quote, 'I'll get you Brambleclaw, I will!'. Does everyone agree with me? So, that is my reasons for knowing Asfur is guilty of putting 20 pounds of peanut butter all over the warriors den," Stormfur said in a booming voice.

"Nice point Ashfur. Mosskit, anything to say?" Firestar mewed.

"Ashfur is not guilty untill Firestar and the jury declare it," Mosskit mews. Ashfur screams and bangs his head on the table.

"I would like to call… Berrynose to the stands!" Stormfur comanded. Berrynose got up, a little confused about be called to the stands. He shrugged and walked up to the stands.

"Berrynose, when was the last time you had seen Ashfur?" Stormfur demanded. Berrynose scrunched his eyebrows together and pondered this with great thought.

"Well, I do remember seeing him collecting two big boxes this morning from Lionpaw. Otherwise, I hadn't seen him," Berrynose answered.

"Really? Interesting,"Stormfur commented. He nodded his head to show that the tom could leave. Berrynose jumped down into the clearing and went back to sitting by Hollypaw.

"I call Lionpaw to the stands!" Ashfur called. Lionpaw got up and padded to the stands. Lionpaw went and sat in the chair behind the stands.

"Lionpaw, did you deliver two large boxes to this morning?" Stormfur questioned the tom.

"Yeah. They had some food stuff in them. I know, 'cause they had to be shipped over night. Ashfur told me to go and get 'em last night. He told me not to tell anyone. But, I didn't listen to him, 'cause here I am," Lionpaw told the crowd. He yawned and looked bored. Stormfur nodded.

"Oh? Is that so?"Stormfur meowed.

"Nooooo, dude,"Lionpaw answered sarcasticly.

"You may go sit now, Lionpaw. And for being so rude about it, you better go and steal me a hotdog for that,"Stormfur mewed, icily.

"Yeah, whatever,"Lionpaw meowed and rolled his eyes. Then, he got up and padded slowly to his seat.

"I think I'm done here," Stormfur mewed and signaled that Mosskit could come up.

"Oh, uh, Mosskit!" Firestar yelled.

"Right, my client is guilty. It's so obvious. There's not even a chance of me winning this case. Now, if you excuse me I have some moss to play with," Mosskit mewed standing up and rushing up the magic stairway to Starclan.

"Ok? Well, jury, it's time for you to put in your say! I'm giving you five minutes," Firestar mewed. Everybody got up and went to get some mouse-a-chino's.

5 MINUTES LATER

"You've come to a decision?" Firestar asked the jury.

"Yes. We believe that Ashfur is so obviously guilty," Spottedleaf mewed.

"Ok. Ashfur is guilty!"Firestar declares and bangs his gavel on his pedastal. Ashfur screamed and n=banged his head on the table. Brambleclaw stood up and cheered.

"I sentence you to 4 months of Elder duty. Also, you must clean out all dens for 2 months. And you get your cellphone taken away for 3 months," Firestar meowed. Ashfur groaned. Brambleclaw jumped on his table and did a little happy dance. Everybody just stared at him.

"Court adjourned!" Firestar cryed out.

**I'm sorry peeps, if this wasn't what you expected. It was a pretty suckish ending I know. But, I was in a cramp to finish it, so yeah. And thanks for all those awesome reviews. And you peeps know how Spottedleaf said trouble was coming in her e-mail? Well, that was the trouble. Yeah, pretty bad, huh? And then name of Internet, Cellphones, and What! is changed a bit. It is now what it was supossed to be:****Internet, Cellphones, and What?**** Well, bye peeps! And keep up the reviewing! Luv ya!**

**~Brittany~**


	5. Planning of the Twoleg Steeling Spree

**Goodness, gracious. It's been taking me forever to finally get to this story! Oh, and all you people who are saying very mean things in your reviews, my cat will rip your head off. One person even said she would push this story and me off a cliff. Rather rude, if you ask me. However, all you good reviewers get a Sandstorm virtual plushie to go with your Firestar one! Thanks for reviewing, by the way! **

**Disclaimer: I am not Erin Hunter. I am Brittany. Therfore I do not own Warriors. Which is a very sad thing for me to say.**

"Lionpaw! We could get caught!" Honeypaw exclaimed. Lionpaw had just suggested to all of the apprentices that they went on a twoleg stealing spree.

"It does sound kind of fun," Cinderpaw mewed. Her eyes were sparkling with the prospect of adventure.

"Hmmm… but, like, what if we, like, got caught, like, by the, like, twoleg police?" Poppypaw asked.

"Who in their right mind would even suspect a _cat_ to rob their house? Seriously, the twolegs just blame it on other twolegs. Cats did some of the biggest robberies ever in twoleg history. But did they get caught? No. So we won't. What do you peeps say to that?" Lionpaw contradicted.

"Well, he does have a really big point there, guys. I mean, Lionpaw's my bro, and I do what he does so I know I'm in," Hollypaw mewed. Poppypaw nodded. Cinderpaw nodded.

"We're in!" Cinderpaw and Poppypaw mewed together. The rest of the apprentices shook their heads.

"We don't want to get in trouble, Lionpaw," They all meowed. Lionpaw shrugged and gestured for the other apprentices with his tail into a corner of the den.

"O.K, here's the plan. We go to a few houses, steal some computers and valuables that can be sold on Ebay. Also, we can lift whatever else we want. We'll be going to the Wellington's house they're on vacation. The Seamark's will be visiting their son at college this weekend. Lastly, we will be going to the Taylor's they are going to be visiting in-laws in Florida. O.K?" Lionpaw instructed. The other apprentices nodded.

"But, we have to make it look like a twoleg robbery," Lionpaw mewed. The apprentices nodded again. Then, Lionpaw brought the twolegs into an even tighter circle and started whispering very quietly so the wonderful author could not hear his devious plan.

"What?! It's not devious! And you could listen if you wanted. I was just whispering so the other cats couldn't hear," Lionpaw meowed in surprise.

"Yes, but Lionpaw, I was just trying to make a smooth transition into whatever the other cats were doing," the awesome author said in her big booming voice. Lionpaw frowned and nodded. Now, that my smooth transition was ruined, let's just move on to whatever's going on in Windclan.

Meanwhile, in Windclan, Onestar was surfing the Internet. "Ebay. Where is my e-mail from Ebay?" he kept muttering under his breath. Onestar was checking his e-mail (obviously). Onestar clicked on the e-mail from Firestar.

He read:

_Sure Onestar. It doesn't matter. I don't care. However, um, why do you need it this time? Well, byes!!!_

Onestar typed back:

_Thanks, dude! That is awesome. I need it for the Garfield alarm clock I ordered off Ebay. Dude, it's a collector item. How awesome is that? See ya!_

He clicked back into his inbox. "YES!" Onestar screamed. There it was that beautiful e-mail from Ebay. He filled in the form:

**FULL NAME:** One Star

**ADDRESS:** 267 PO box, Lake View, VT, 05828

**PHONE NUMBER: **1-802-673-7001

**AGE: **52

(He just typed in everything the same way Firestar had). Onestar nodded with approval, stood up, and stretched. He looked around his den at all his Ebay stuff. A framed picture of Garfield, a stuffed monkey, a garfield lunch-box, a tread mill, a poster that had a picture of the Beatles and a yellow submarine on it and said, " Yellow Submarine", and a statue of a cat. He purred in satisfaction and padded out of his den.

"Now, I will be going back into Thunderclan!" the author's voice boomed. Onestar jumped in surprise. All the other cats jumped and looked around wildly.

"Woah. What was that?" Onestar cryed out.

"It was I, the person writing the story!" The wonderful author said.

"What are you doing here? Spying on Windclan?" Onestar accused.

"Of course not!" The author answered in surprise.

"Then, get out!" Crowfeather yelled.

"No. I can do whatever I want," the author said. All of a sudden Crowfeather screamed and was lifted into the air.

"What do you say to that?" the author countered.

"You are so mean!" Crowfeather yelled.

"Thanks! That's the best compliment I've gotten all day!" the author replied happily. Then she set Crowfeather down carefully on the ground.

"See you cats later!" the author said and went back to ThunderClan, leaving Windclan speachless.

* * *

In Thunderclan, Jaypaw was complaining to Lionpaw.

"Why can't I go?" Jaypaw mewed in annoyance.

"Well you can't see. How are you supposed to help when you can't see?" Lionpaw meowed back.

"So? I can still help!" Jaypaw said stubornly.

"Just no. OK, Jaypaw?" Lionpaw mewed back.

"Whatever." Jaypaw rolled his eyes and walked away.

"Ready? Let's go," Lionpaw mewed to his small group of cats.

**This chapter was kind of bad, I'll admit. But it could have been worse, right? It could have said something like: Firestar ate Brambleclaw. The End. Now wouldn't that be a nice story? Could you imagine the reviews? Oh! I think I'll do that just to see what would happen. It'll be called When Firestar Ate Somebody. OK? Let's see how many bad reviews I can get! OK? Bye!**


	6. The Twoleg Stealing Spree

**Sorry, it took so long for this. I finished this a really long time ago and I thought I published the chapter but hadn't. Quite sorry for the delay. As long as you have reviewed my story, you get the virtual prizes from the past chapters, which are a virtual Firestar plushie and a virtual Sandstorm plushie. In this chapter for reviewing you get a virtual Graystripe plushie! Next chapter, you'll be getting a cat from Windclan! I wonder whom that could be… you'll just have to read to find out. Oh, and in this story they'll be no eating of other cats. Only in my other dumb story will that happen. OK, Random Leafy Spirit? Now, read! Go! Come on look down! Read the chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors. I don't own anything in this story. You don't how hard it is to admit this. Now, I have to go cry.**

"Remember, we're still in enemy territory. We got through Shadowclan territory, but who knows what could happen in Riverclan? I have yet to be caught, and I don't have a death wish," Lionpaw whispered.

"Lionpaw, you did tell Firestar or Brambleclaw we were going didn't you?" Hollypaw whispered. Lionpaw stared at his sister in disbelief.

"Do you really think I _wouldn't_ tell someone? Of course, I told Firestar! We have to pick up some blankets for the clan, he said. See? I have an order sheet right here," Lionpaw held up a piece of paper. Hollypaw grabbed it and examined it. Cinderpaw and Poppypaw crowded around her.

"Ferncloud wants some salt and vinegar chips? Um, why does Spiderleg need shaving cream? He's a cat. He doesn't shave," Cinderpaw mewed confused.

"He's using it for some prank. And before you ask why Brambleclaw wants a pair of twoleg high-heels, he wants to give them to Ashfur as a funny Birthday present," Lionpaw whispered and chuckled.

"Oh, right that's next week isn't it? I think I'll get Ashfur some tuna fish," Hollypaw muttered. Lionpaw shook his head. Hollypaw just wasn't paying attention to the task ahead of them. He signaled with his tail that it was time to move on. The other apprentices followed him across Riverclan territory.

"Are we there yet?" Cinderpaw whined.

"We're almost there," Lionpaw answered. He was rather annoyed. They continued to creep through the undergrowth. They all stopped Lionpaw lifted his head and signaled for everybody else to get up.

"See? There's the twoleg place right there," Lionpaw mewed to the others. He creped towards a medium sized white house with black trim.

"This is the Wellington's house. Everybody follow me and be quiet," Lionpaw murmured to everyone. Cinderpaw lifted her eyebrows. Poppypaw rolled her eyes at him. Hollypaw snorted. But they all nodded anyway. Lionpaw tiptoed up to the house. He lifted his head and looked around. All the twoleg lights were off everywhere, so he continued on to the house. He stepped up to the back door, stood on his hind legs and poked out a claw. He inserted his claw into the door lock, and turned his paw. You could hear a click, as the door unlocked.

"Now watch. All I have to do is put my paws around the knob and turn," Lionpaw told his audience. He set both paws o different sides of the knob and turned. The door popped open easily.

Hollypaw's eyes widened. Cinderpaw just stared. Where as Poppypaw mewed, "That was, like, totally, like, awesome dude." Lionpaw took a bow, and led everyone inside.

"This is the kitchen. Poppypaw I want you to take the kitchen. I have four copies of the list. Take one and see if you can find everything on the list. Hollypaw, you take the kids' bedrooms. Cinderpaw, take the parent's bedroom. I've got the living room and the bathroom. You have a half hour. If you find something heavy, then we all get together to pick it up and we load it onto the four wheelers outside waiting in the woods. Now, get started!" Lionpaw commanded.

Hollypaw ran to the girl's bedroom. It had two red walls and two blue walls. The floor was green carpet. She saw a cd player and dropped it into her black tote bag. She scanned the room for more things. Her eyes stopped on a TV. Then she decided that there would be enough heavy things as it was.

She scrunched up her face and turned around to go back out the door, she stopped. She was looking at a collection of CD's. She decided to only take a few. She grabbed a Carrie Underwood CD, a Taylor Swift CD, a Green Day CD, an Aerosmith CD, and a AC/DC CD. She dropped those in her bag and padded out the door and into the boy's room.

His room had blue walls and a green carpet. She sighed and grabbed the Nintendo DS sitting on the nightstand. That was just about the only thing in the room she could get. The PS3 was plugged in, as was the PS2 and the Nintendo 360. She really wanted the Wii but cats couldn't play that. So she left the room and went to see what was going on in the kitchen.

Poppypaw was standing there looking bored. "He, like, gave me, like, the worst, like, room in the, like, whole house. All I could, like, steal was, like, the, like, toaster," Poppypaw meowed annoyed. Hollypaw rolled her eyes. Cinderpaw walked in. She opened up her backpack to show, jewelry. Diamonds, emeralds, pearls, rubies and even some saphires. Hollypaw's eyes widened. Poppypaw couldn't even say anything. Cinderpaw nodded and zipped her backpack.

"Help! Huge TV!" Lionpaw yelled.

"Coming!" the she-cats yelled back. They set down their stuff. They padded in to the room. They saw that Lionpaw had gotten the TV unplugged, and had managed to get it off the stand.

"You really think four cats are gonna be able to carry that?" Hollypaw mewed, her eyes widening. It was one of those huge flat screen TV's.

"No. That's why Berrynose, Squirrelflight, Dustpelt, Graystripe, Birchfall, and Whitewing are coming inside. They were driving the four wheelers, by the way," Lionpaw mewed as the other six cats stepped into the room. Now they had ten cats. Lionpaw stepped up to the front along with Dustpelt and Whitewing. Squirrelflight went to the left side with Poppypaw. Hollypaw went to the right side with Birchfall. Cinderpaw was in the back with Graystripe and Berrynose. They all did this little squeezing thing to get under the TV.

"One, two, three! Pick it up!" Graystripe meowed. They all lifted up. Cinderpaw gasped under the weight. They turned and twisted out to a trailer in the back of a red four-wheeler. They hoisted the TV up into the trailer. Hollypaw set her bag into the trailer. Cinderpaw did the same. Poppypaw put her toaster in the back of the four-wheeler, muttering something like, "Wouldn't, like, want anything, like, to happen to, like, the toaster, like, would we?".

Squirrelflight hopped on the four-wheeler. The other cats got on theirs and drove away.

"We should be getting to the other houses shouldn't we?" Lionpaw mewed.

THE END OF THE NIGHT

"How do we get the stuff across the other cats territories, when they'll hear the four-wheelers?" Cinderpaw asked Lionpaw. They were at the very edge of Riverclan territory.

"We drive to the lake and go across in a twoleg boat. We'll get to out territory without crossing Shadowclan's territory," Lionpaw meowed.

"But, like, what about, like, Riverclan?" Poppypaw asked.

"We have permission to cross their territory to steal twoleg stuff," Lionpaw answered easily.

"Then why the hell did we have to be quiet crossing Riverclan territory? You specifically said 'Remember, we're still in enemy territory. We got through Shadowclan territory, but who knows what could happen in Riverclan? I have yet to be caught, and I don't have a death wish'. So, if we're aloud to go in their territory to get to twoleg place, then why did you say that?" Hollpaw meowed in frustration.

"Well, I have yet to be caught for _waking them up_. I never have and they said they would drown me if I woke them up," Lionpaw answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Hollypaw shook her head and padded over to Squirrelflight.

"The boats are ready!" Graystripe called quietly.

**I really hope that you people don't anticipate the next chapter too much, because that might not be up for a month or so, considering the fact my grandpa's in the hospital and I don't have any time to do anything. But in this chapter you get a bonus prize. You get a virtual Jaypaw plushie! I have to go to bed. I gotta go to the hospital early in the morning, so good night every one!**


	7. Boats? What?

**I figured that while I have I should type. Much to my annoyance, I have had no time to type anything. Nothing. Zip. Zero. Not even my paper that's due on Monday. I suppose I should get to work on that… not right now though. Well, for this chapter, I said your prize for reviewing would be a Windclan cat. So, this chapter for reviewing your virtual plushie is… Heatherpaw! Of course, my best friend **_**Heather**_** suggested this particular cat. Now, time to get to the story, I assume.**

**Disclaimer: *clears throat* I DO NOT OWN WARRIORS OR ANYTHIING ELSE IN THIS STORY. There. I said it. Ok, I yelled it. So?**

"We're actually going in a boat?" Poppypaw meowed, for once not using the word, "like" even once.

"Yes, Poppypaw. How else do you suggest we get a big screen TV, a table, a night-stand, and 20 blankets to our territory?" Berrynose meowed, with his eyebrows lifted. (Yes, the author is quite aware that cats don't have eyebrows, but quite frankly, she does not care.)

"We could use you as a donkey, or rather a ass," Hollypaw retorted. (Yet again, the author is aware she used a swear, but she was using it in it's original meaning, though Hollypaw most definitely was using it as an insult.) Berrynose pursed his lips, lifted his head and looked away. Hollypaw snorted. Poppypaw muttered something that sounded like "freak". Cinderpaw shook her head sadly.

Lionpaw continued to load the table and night-stand into a boat. Berrynose, Squirrelflight and Birchfall would be steering this boat. All the cats loaded the TV into another boat. Lionpaw, Graystripe and Hollypaw would be in this boat. Dustpelt, Whitewing, Poppypaw, and Cinderpaw would be in the other boat with the blankets. Cinderpaw put the salt and vinegar chips with the blankets. Then, she grabbed the pink stilettos and the purple pumps, they still weren't quite sure what shoes Bramblelcaw would want. However, they were quite sure it would be the stilettos.

They climbed into the boats. Graystripe immediately stepped to the front of the boat. "You all shall address me as _Captain_ Graystripe!" _Captain_ Graystripe commanded.

"Ha! Right. No. I refuse," Hollypaw mewed.

"Quiet, mate!" Graystripe barked. Though he could not really bark, considering he is a cat. So, the author means, he barked the order. Commanded it.

They set off. Berrynose was staring into the lake, looking a little green.

"Um, Berrynose? You okay? Can cats even get seasick? When they're not on the sea? But on the lake?" Squirrelflight questioned.

Berrynose shrugged and promptly vomited into the lake. "Well, hope the fishies like their breakfast," Lionpaw muttered from the other boat. Cinderpaw heard him from the other boat and sighed. Birchfall started singing in what he thought was a quiet tone.

"Is he singing _Oops, I did it Again?_" Whitewing asked no one in particular.

"Um, I think so," Squirrelflight answered while Dustpelt meowed, "Oh, you can't be serious!".

"Is he really?" Cinderpaw questioned, not requiring an answer.

"He is! Oh, wow! That is, like, my favorite, like, song!" Poppypaw answered Cinderpaw and then started to dance around the boat. The boat started rocking precariously.

"Poppypaw! Stop dancing unless you want to swim home!" Dustpelt yelled. Poppypaw stopped and grabbed her i-pod out of her purse. She turned it on and started humming to a Jessica Simpson song.

"Stupid apprentices. They can't do anything," Dustpelt muttered. Squirrelflight leaned over to look into the water.

"Eeek!" Squirrelflight screeched as she went tumbling into the water.

"Mom? Are you all right?" Lionpaw asked his mother who was spitting and sputtering in the water.

"Yes I am. Remember, I s-stopped your father from drowning at the sundrown p-place," Squirrelflight answered as she swam back to her boat. Birchfall leaned over to help her into the boat. Squirrelflight clawed her way in and coughed. She lay down on the floor of the boat and closed her eyes.

"Do you peeps see that?" Hollypaw asked loudly. She pointed with her paw toward Shadowclan territory. Lionpaw looked over to where she was pointing and burst out laughing. His laughter caused everyone else to look where Hollypaw was pointing and giggling. Everyone stared and then cracked up.

"Is… that Blackstar… trying on… pink clothes?" Cinderpaw managed to say between laughs. Hollypaw nodded.

"Brambleclaw will love to hear this!" Squirrelflight howled with laughter.

"OMS, are those? OMS! They, like, are! Those are, like, the new, like, Marc Jacobs pink sparkle pumps!" Poppypaw gasped while giggling.

"You know, I always thought that there was something wrong with Blackstar, but I never dreamed he would be a cross dresser!" Whitewing mewed in laughter. Dustpelt was rolling around on the floor of the boat laughing his ass off. Hollypaw pulled out her cellphone and took a few pictures. She typed in a bunch of e-mail addresses and pressed send. It would be all over the lake by noon tomorrow. There wouldn't be a cat who hadn't seen this picture.

"We're almost home!" Graystripe bellowed. All the cats reluctantly turned to face the front of the boats. Birchfall, Graystipe, and Dustpelt got ready to dock their boats.

* * *

"Firestar! Lionpaw's back!" Brambleclaw called across the clearing. Firestar was busy supervising Ashfur's punishment. Ashfur was cleaning out the Elder's den. He had his nose wrinkled and was rolling up the moss.

"Thanks, Brambleclaw! I'll be right there!" Firestar answered Brambleclaw. Firestar told Ashfur something and padded over to Brambleclaw. Lionpaw entered with the other cats dragging a big sled thing with everything on it.

Hollypaw and Cinderpaw disappeared and came back with an auction stand. All the cats gathered around. But before we go on, I feel that I must explain. When Lionpaw steals things that weren't requested by some cat, he auctions it off. The cats that requested something pay Lionpaw and whoever helped him for whatever they wanted them to steal.

"I got a 52 inch flat screen T.V! I got $600, $700! How about $800? I got $850! $900? I got, $1,000! Have I got $1,100? Ok, sold to Spiderleg!" Lionpaw yelled out in that superly fast auctioneer voice that this author, no matter what, can not use. Lionpaw continued on with his auction.

"Um, Lionpaw, where are those _items_ I requested?" Brambleclaw whispered to Lionpaw.

"Hold on, dad," Lionpaw mews to his "father". Lionpaw flicks his tail to Poppypaw who comes up with a bag. She hands the bag to Brambleclaw.

"Thanks, Poppers. Oh, are those pink? Perfect!" Brambleclaw meowed happily. He then padded away to the den.

"Why, like, can't he just, like, call me, like, Poppypaw? Why, like, does he, like, call me, like, Poppers?" Poppypaw asked nobody in particular.

"I think it's 'cause he wants to annoy you," Hollypaw answered her smarticle friend. Poppypaw nodded and whipped out her blackberry so she could text somebody.

THE NEXT MORNING

"OMS! Why am I dressed like a girl?" A voice yelled from the warriors den. Firestar his head out from his den just in time to see a cat standing in a Hannah Montana wig, a pink ruffled dress, red lipstick, pink blush, purple eye shadow, and pink high heels. A camera was held up and a picture was snapped.

"What the? Why is-" Firestar started to say but was cut off by the author who wanted to do a cliffy.

**I feel mean. Huh. Too bad. The worst part is the next chapter won't be up forever. But, I'm quite sure you can guess who has on the girl costume. Come on. Think. Go through the last chapter and this one and you'll soon figure it out. However it is NOT Blackstar. That's m only hint so have fun figuring it out. This chapter wasn't my best though. I'll admit that. Who will the next plushie be? I was thinking I'd do a Riverclan cat. I don't know who though. Should it be: Mothwing, Leopardstar, or Mistyfoot? Or should I do Shadowclan? If I do Shadowclan should I do Blackstar or Tawnypelt? Review and let me know who you want as your next plushie! Bye peoples!**


	8. Um, Ashfur!

**Here is yet another chapter. I'm going to make this chapter my longest one yet (or at least I'll try). I do wish I had more time to type this story, because then my chapters would be up a great deal faster. But, alas, I do not have the time. I just decided that there would be a chapter (or maybe two) up every month. I wanted to put this up by April 1****st**** but, as usual, I never got around to typing it. So, I'm going to type this chapter tonight and put it up tomorrow afternoon (April 20****th****!) I am giving out Mistyfoot virtual plushies! Add them to your collection! Disclaimer: Plain and simple: I do not own anything in this story except the story itself. **

"What the? Why is Ashfur wearing that?" Firestar continued his sentence form the last chapter. Firestar stared at Ashfur. Ashfur was still to shocked by waking up in this state, to even try to get out of his "outfit". Brambleclaw was chuckling from his spot on top of a big rock.

"Ah, payback's a bitch, isn't Ashfur?" Brambleclaw purred to Ashfur. "Wait, apprentices! 1-2-3," Brambleclaw bellowed. The apprentices clustered in front of him.

"Ah-ah! Dude looks like a lady! Ah-ah! Dude looks like a lady! Ah-ah! Dude looks like a lady!Ah-ah! Dude looks like a lady!" They sang the beginning of Dude Looks Like A Lady by Aerosmith.

"Stop it!" yowled Graystripe. He glared at the apprentices.

"Brambleclaw! You did this to him?" Firestar gasped, staring at his deputy.

"Firestar, had you really _not_ noticed that Ashfur and Brambleclaw want to kill each other? Or as they seem to be doing, mortally embarrass each other? Great Starclan, you can be so _dense_," Sandstorm meowed with a look.

"You two really should leave each other alone," Firestar sighed to Ashfur and Brambleclaw. Ashfur had finally come back to his senses and was busy ripping off his outfit. Brambleclaw just gazed at Firestar with a look that said, yeah-right.

"I suppose that Brambleclaw must be punished. Anyone have any idea what punishment should befall him?" Firestar meowed to the crowd.

"Confine him to camp for a few days?" Spiderleg suggests.

"No, I think you should take away his laptop for two weeks, so he can't order anything," Mousefur meows over the other suggested punishments.

"Sounds good to me. Lionpaw, please remove your father's laptop from his desk and put it in with the elders," Firestar meowed to Lionpaw.

"Oh, and Leafpool, can I have some of my stress meds? This has been a very stressful day," Firestar asks Leafpool who nods her head and goes to collect Firestar's medication.

"Not my laptop! Anything but that! Noooooooooo! Don't do it! My laptop!" Brambleclaw wailed as Lionpaw and Berrynose carries away Brambleclaw's laptop. Brambleclaw collapsed in a heap on the ground, crying. Leafpool carried Firestar a few poppy seeds. She then looked at Brambleclaw. Leafpool shook her head and dragged Brambleclaw off to the medicine cat den.

"Oh, and before I take a nap, I'd thought I'd remind all you cats that there is a gathering tonight," Firestar meowed to the clan who was already gathered in the clearing. "Graystripe, Spiderleg, Hazeltail, Squirrelflight, Sandstorm, Brackenfur, Mousewhisker, Lionpaw, Icepaw, Foxpaw, and Hollypaw. Get some rest as you will be going to the gathering," Firestar mewed and went to his den.

"Oh, yeah! We're going to the gathering! We're going to the gathering! We are going to the gathering!" Icepaw and Foxpaw started yelling in song-like voice.

"Oh, shut up," Honeypaw muttered and walked away.

CROSSING THE TREE

"Are you cats coming?" Graystripe asked Icepaw and Foxpaw.

"Of course!" they meowed indignantly, while jumping off the log. The rest of Thunderclan walked into the clearing. Blackstar was furious.

"Who! I demand! Who took this picture of me!?" Blackstar yowled from a tree. A huge blown-up picture of Blackstar in his pink outfit was taped to the tree. Blackstar jumped down and ripped it to shreds.

"Oh! Blackstar, I had no idea… we could have gotten you help!" Tawnypelt meowed. Blackstar growled. The whole clearing was erupting in laughter.

"Ac-hem! Guess what, cats? All of us leaders have decided to host a talent show! Or a singing show or whatever. Because you can only sing in this show! It will be called Cat Idol! You know, like American Idol? Whoever wins will be able to sing every gathering! And… they will win a 50 inch flat screen TV! And if that's not enough, they will win a new Blackberry Storm!" Firestar yowls over the laughter. All the cats are watching him. Onestar hops into the tree with a scroll.

"Here are the rules. 1. No more than 3 cats are aloud to sing together. And yes, each of those cats will get a cell phone and a TV. 2. You may not make up any songs. 3. Each song must be chosen from the author's iPod!" Onestar read from the scroll. Leopardstar hopped up to the tree with a list of songs and another paper.

"No, you are not all required to sing. Here is a sign up sheet. And the list of songs. We will be gathering back here in one week to hear you! Sign up right now. If you don't you will not be able to sing. When you sign up we will give you the list of songs. Please pick one so we can cross it off," Leopardstar meowed. She walked down to a desk (which had mysteriously appeared) and sat down. She set out a cup of pencils and waited. Groups of cats came over and signed up. "No, that song is boring. Yeah, yeah, that one!" was being whispered each time.

"OK! Looks like we're all signed up! We'll see you in one week!" Firestar meowed and disappeared.

"Uh, where did Firestar go?" Lionpaw asked Hollypaw. She just shrugged.

ONE WEEK LATER

"First up, we have Foxpaw and Icepaw from Thunderclan, singing, Ghostbusters by um, Ghostbusters," Spiderleg announced. Foxpaw and Icepaw walked on to the stage. You ask, where did that stage comes from? I answer, Who cares?

"Ghostbusters! If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!" Foxpaw and Icepaw sang. They sang until they finished the song.

"I, for one, thought it was dreadful! Who sings a TV theme song? ew," Blackstar mewed.

"I loved it! You two wonderful!" Firestar meowed.

"It was ok. I guess," Leopardstar mewed.

"Um, it was good. A little scratchy, but good," Onestar mewed.

**Yeah, yeah, I know. I wanted this to be long. But I ran out of ideas! I absolutely hate this chapter! I think it sucks. I mean I'm doing Cat Idol! I need, need ideas. Help me! Help me! **


	9. A School?

**ATTENTION!!! Cat Idol will NOT be happening. Quite sorry to all of you who were looking forward to it, but I do not want to type that. Also, I typed a few chapters of Cat Idol over the summer, put them on my pendrive, and then stuck them on my new apple laptop. But, of course, I opened up the documents and they were no more! So, I can't upload them for all you people! Anyway, I'm back after that long hiatus from this story! Yes, this chapter is a bit over due, but apparently, in 8****th**** grade, you get over worked to death. Add that to doing fund-raising for my 8****th**** grade class trip, and you get Brittany (that's me!) collapsing every night, never having time to write a word. This is a long author's note, but you know, I wanted to help everyone undertand why I haven't been writing or uploading or anything. Well, my dad bought me the newest version of the Apple/Mac/whatever laptop. I love it. Ah, yes, everyone will get SIX virtual plushies, for all the months I have not uploaded! Now, that is like WHAT?! Has it really been THAT long? Yes, my dears, it has. I'm quite sure I have not uploaded since May. That means you get a plushie for, June, July, August, Septemeber, October, and this month, November. Half a year? Really? Anyway, here's a list of your plushies.**

**June: Lionblaze**

**July: Jayfeather**

**August: Redtail**

**September: Whitestorm**

**October: Scourge AND Tigerstar (Halloween's in October, so I wanted to put EVIL kitties for plushies. Tigerclaw (oops, I mean, Tigers**_**tar) **_**has a bunny costume covered in blood, real blood! Scourge comes with his own personal devil horns and teeth collar!)**

**November: Brook Where Small Fish Swim**

**So, I guess you get SEVEN virtual plushies! Add that to your other, what seven? So, you now have like fourteen! Wow, long authors note… so, onward to the story!**

"Everyone! I just got a text message saying that Cat Idol was canceled!" Firestar yowled from his den, where he was texting cats.

"What?! Who from?" Hollypaw mewed from her spot in front of the den..

"Erm, the author of this story! Apparently, she accidently murdered her computer files," Firestar replied, turning to his laptop. He opened it up, pressing the little on button, waiting for the laptop to boot up. He got up and looked out his den to survey the news being spread through camp like wildfire. Spiderleg looked extra depressed, because he was the host. Brambleclaw looked dead, being sepperated from his computer for a week and a half. Ashfur looked to be plotting something. Firestar sighed and went back to his computer.

Meanwhile, in another place, quite far from England, was a girl typing on her laptop, ignoring the math book next to her. "What, the hell can I make happen next?" the girl kept asking herself. Her mother yelled to her, telling her to do her homework, or else. The girl promptly ignored her and went back to her story, an idea striking her.

"OMS! What's this? Brambleclaw get in here!" Firestar yowled, as he finished reading an email from Spottedleaf.

_Dear Firestar,_

_I've seen that the apprentices are quite good at hunting and fighting, but they are terribly stupid in all things mathematical, grammatical, scientific and historic. They also are terrible readers and don't even know what cobweb is used for! I suggest you open a school, and force all apprentices to go. They could graduate when they become a warrior. Young cats need some education! You could have classes from 7:00 to only noon! I know the cats have duties, but really, 5 hours of learning wont kill them! They could spend the rest of the day doing their duties. The classes could be Language Arts, History, Math, Science, gym, art, health, and music! You could get the other clans to do this too! It would be such a great chance to make all of the young cats smart, and understand other clans aren't as bad as they think they are. Please consider this, and contact me! I'll be happy to teach Health class!_

_Love,_

_Spottedleaf_

"What a wonderful idea! Don't you think, Brambleclaw?"Firestar exclaimed to his deputy who was perking up at the idea of all this.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do! We should contact the other leaders right away!" Brambleclaw agreed. Firestar nodded and wrote his own email to the other leaders.  
_Dear leaders of Windclan, Shadowclan, and Riverclan,_

_Spotterleaf brought to my attentiont the stupididty of young cats today! She suggested we have a school for all apprentices until they become a warrior. The times could be from 7:00 to noon, only a five-hour day. We could have Language Arts, History, Math, Science, gym, art, health, and music. So, what do you say? I think we should do it!_

_The leader of Thunderclan,_

_Firestar_

Firestar pressed send, awaiting their reply, and already drawing up a plan in his head.

Somewhere around 20 minutes later…

Firestar perked up as he saw that the other leaders has replied and clicked on the first email. It was from Onestar. He waited for the email to load, tapping his paws.

_Firestar,_

_Yeah, cat! Sounds good! You make the plans and stuff and tell me about it and I'll tell my clan! Oh, and if you need some teachers, I got some in my clan who would love to help! Oh, and you could add computer class to that list of yours!_

_The one the only, Onestar!!!!!!!!_

Firestar laughed. Of course, Onestar would want him to do the work, it was a good thing Firestar already knew what he planned on doing. He clicked on the reply from Leopardstar.

_Dear Firestar,_

_That is actually a good idea! Yeah, I'm in. Erm, I'm a bit busy around here, so could you work out all the details? I know, I know, you expected some help, but you know how clans are! Oh, and I think you're missing Library on that class list of yours! And maybe, you could make the day last until like, one or something? _

_The best leader in the forest,_

_Leopardstar_

Firestar was surpised that Leopardstar actually didn't want to make all the plans. He shrugged and clicked on the next email, from Blackstar.

_Hey foxdung!_

_Yes, yes. Perfect. I don't want to help set things up though! I have shopping to do! Oops! Damnit! My delete button won't work! Well, erm, I NEVER said that! Got that? Just tell me when and where you want this school. And all that other stuff. _

_Blackstar is so much BETTER than you!_

Firestar laughed, tears coming form his eyes. He calmed down, and jumped down from his den, padding over to a huge den. He walked into the den flicking on a light with his tail. Once the light was on, you could see that this den led into the ground and this one space was just a narrow hallway. It had lots of little doors on each side of the hallway **(AN: In this story, the cats pretty much can use everything even though they do not have thumbs. Deal with it)**. Firestar padded down the hallway a few tail-lenghts until he came to a door that had a plaque on it, that declared the room the meeting room.

Firestar opened this door and flipped on the light. The spacous room had a large table in the middle (cat sized) with about 20 or so chair around it (also cat sized) and an intercom/phone at the end of that table. Firestar went and took his seat at the head of the table.

Firestar quickly opened a drawer at his end of the table and puleed out a map. He needed a place for this school, that wouldn't take forever for one clan to travel to. The only place that he could see was the island. But that would take a bit for Thunderclan to get to. He figured they could just use the speed-boats though. He called up Spottedleaf and she said she'd be right there.

"Senior warriors! Get your furry butts into the meeting room now!" Firestar screamed into the the little microphone on his intercom. His voice was heard throughout the whole camp. The senior warriors rushed in and sat down. Sandstorm got out her laptop, planning to type down what was said. Firestar relayed the idea to them.

"We need school supplies! Books, pencils, pens, markers, paper, desks, whiteboards, computers, book shelves, erasers, chairs, crayons, highlighters, whiteboard markers, binders, folders, scissors, colored pencils, health stuff, art stuff, music stuff, gym stuff, and dumb motivational posters! Who volunteers to order the supplies?" Firestar mewed.

"I guess I will. Can we get some money from Starclan for this? Because this is going to take some serious cash," meowed Sandstorm. She was a bit miffed that Firestar had gotten the idea from Spottedleaf, but she was dealing with it. Brackenfur raised his paw.

"Erm, who are the teachers going to be?" Brackenfur asked, a bit confused. Firestar looked up.

"Well, um, we haven't decided. But, I'm quite sure Spottedleaf will teach Health. I have a list of the cats from all four clans, and their interests. That should help us decide who should be a teacher, shouldn't it?" Firestar answered while handing out the sheets to the cats. Squirrelflight was reading hers outloud.

"Crowfeather of Windclan. His interests are poetry, English, Leafpool, running, putting temporary colors in his fur, and grammarr. Mistyfoot of Riverclan. Her interests are collecting pretty rocks and feathers, art things, swimming, and catching really big fishies. Wow. Um, this is really interesting!" Squirrelflight laughed.

"Squirrelflight of Thunderclan. Her interests are sugar, bouncing around, keeping huge secrets, and singing random songs at random intervals," Brambleclaw read aloud. All the cats raised an eyebrow. **(AN: Yes, I know the whole Leaf+Crow=Holly, Jay, and Lion. But in this story, no one knows of this yet.) **Squirrelflight blushed.

"I know! Would you mind if I shared my thoughts on teacher positions?" Graystripe asked, a big lightbulb appearing over his head. Graystripe swatted at it as he waited for a reply.

"Noooooo, why would we want to hear what you think, Graystripe?" Firestar answered. He clasped his paws on the table, leaning forward in full listening posistion.

"Well, here we go. Crowfeather should teach Language arts, Squirrelflight should teach music, Mistyfoot should teach art, Dustpelt should teach gym, Cloudtail should teach math, Tawnypelt should teach history, Brambleclaw should teach computers, Tallpoppy should be the librarian, and Bluestar should teach science," Graystripe puffed out in one breath.

"Perfect! Sandstorm, did you get that? Yes? Ok, make up a sheet/letter thing and fax it to those cats and their leaders. If they ask why there are so many Thunderclan cats teaching, it's because the other clans suck monkeys. Don't say that! Tell them it's because they put me in charge. Speaking of in charge, who shall be principal?" Firestar said in a rush.

"Well, as you are planning and doing all this, I think it should be you," Brambleclaw mewed. All the other cats nodded.

"Well, thank you. But, I think we should make some voting ballets and send them out to the other clans. We could have them vote on what leader they think should be principal. Then, we could do the same for deputies and who should be vice principal. But, everyone would vote anominously, so the cats couldn't tear up cats who didn't vote for them. Sandstorm, could you do that? Or is that to much work for you?" Firestar asked his mate, concern showing in his eyes. Sandstorm began to shake her head.

"Well, maybe… I could get an assistant," Sandstorm answered. Firestar looked around the room, determining which cat could help his mate. His eyes stopped on one she-cat, who he knew would do anything for him.

"Yes. Spottedleaf, would you mind helping Sandstorm for me?" Firestar asked the tortoiseshell she-cat. She nodded and went and sat beside Sandstorm, which put her right beside Firestar.

"OMS! I just won solitare! For the first time ever!" Graystripe yowled from his spot at the other end of the table. He was doing the happy dance in front of his Acer laptop. Everyone swiveled their head in his direction. "Erm, I mean, you cats are ding such a good job?" Graystripe said, hopefully. The other cats shook their heads. Graystripe muttered some inappropriate language.

"Ok, um, we need to get some money from Starclan! **(AN: I'm doing all their money in US dollars because I don't know how the British pound system works.) **I think we'll need around 1 million, because we have to build a school building, or else everything and every cat will get wet when it rains. Also, we have a lot of stuff to buy," Firestar estimated. Spottedleaf nodded and ran up some magical starry steps into the sky. Ten minutes later, she was back down, holding a big check for 1 millions dollars, signed by Thunderstar himself.

"Where does Starclan get their money?" Brackenfur asked Spottedleaf.

"Well, we've invested in quite a few stocks we know will do good, because we can check the future out. Also, we own multiple two-leg companies. Erm, and some cats have a paw in um, some shady dealings," Spottedleaf answered, shuffling her paws a bit on the last one.

"And, here we were, thinking Starclan was filled with such good kitties!" Brambleclaw scoffed. Everyone just stared at Brambleclaw. Someone's cellphone rang, breaking the awkward silence.

"Hello? Yes, Blackstar, we're faxing over some ballets now. You'll have a Starclan cat overlooking the proceedings to make sure no one knows who other cats voted for. Mmm-hmmm. Right. Yeah, yeah. I know that. You think the school day should be from 7 to 2? When will the apprentices have time to do their duties? Before and after? Fine. Yes, I will go over that with my senior warriors. My senior warriors are acting as school board because none of the other leaders wanted to do this! Whatever. Bye," Firestar meowed into his phone. He shut the blue razr, which was now badly scratched, and set it on the table. He shook his head.

"Will someone go get my stress meds from Leafpool?" Firestar asked the air. Brightheart stood up and trotted off. "Sandstorm, could you order me a new cellphone in the near future? This one's dead. I think a Blackberry would work quite nicely, don't you?" Firestar instructed his secretary/mate. She nodded and had Spottedleaf write it down.

"Hello? Was I forgotten about?" Cloudtail mewed from his spot between Dustpelt and Brambleclaw.

"Erm, yes, I suppose. The author kind of forgot you were a senior warrior, I guess," Firestar answered.

"Yes, Cloudtail, I did forget about you! I'm quite sorry," The author's voice came from nowhere the could see, but seemed to be coming from everywhere at once. Everyone shrugged it off and went back to business.

"Does everyone agree on Blackstar's idea of 7 to 2?" Firestar asked as Brightheart returned holding an orange bottle. She handed it to Firestar and he popped off the top. Taking the glass of water from some cat, he swallowed a pill.

Words of aggrement were echoed throughtout the room. "Okay then. Sandstorm, remember to start ordering supplies. Also, we must find a way to keep twolegs off of the island. If anyone has any ideas on that, tell us at the next meeting. This meeting is adjurned. Meet me back here tomorrow," Firestar finsished. He turned to Sandstorm and Spottedleaf. "You two, come with me," he meowed to them. Firestar left the meeting room and went to the very end of the hallway and opened up the only door on the end wall of the hallway. Firestar flicked on the light, revealing a medium sized room with a large mahogany desk on the far wall. Their were mahogany bookshelves on all the other walls, filled with books and other assorted knick-knacks. Firestar plopped down in a chair behind a big desk.

"Now, I know you two hate eachother, but you'll just have to get used to working together. Let me set something straight. Sandstorm, I love you very much. But, I also love Spottedleaf. But, Spottedleaf is dead. Even though that's a bit hard to believe with her starry self, standing right there. Sandstorm, you are my mate. You two need to get over this mouse-brained hatred of eachother! Okay? Now get out! I have work to do!" Firestar sighed with exasperation. The two she-cats looked at eachother. They sighed and left. Firestar twirled around in his chair a couple minutes. Finally, he stopped, and pressed a button on his cool office phone thing, **(AN: You know those phones that like when you press a button it calls a certain place in the building?)**.

"Hey, Spottedleaf! Could you get me some strong black coffee? I've got some serious work to do!" Firestar meowed into the phone.

"Yeah, sure! Would you like a big cup or a normal sized cup?" Spottedleaf asked in a cheerful tone.

"Um, a big cup. I'll be doing work for awhile," Firestar answered.

"Ok! I'm right on it!" Spottedleaf replied. Firestar yawned and turned on the HUGE Apple/Mac computer he had on on his desk. Whle he waited for it to start, he dug around in his desk looking for a pen. Once the computer started, he went on the internet to email info to the other clan leaders.

**Holy crud muffin! Longest chapter I have EVER written! Amazingness x 10!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I know that it is December (actually January!). But I began this chapter in November hence the Authors note only addressing the happenings of November. You guys needs another plushie, do you not? December virtual plushie is… actually there are 2 virtual plushies! They are, Cinderpelt, and Cloudtail! I gave you guys cats with C names because Santa Claus! Note the letter C! Well, they each come with a Santa hat and a little present! Cinderpelt's present has herbs in it! Cloudtail's has kittypet food in it! OH and quite sorry this chapter is not funny, it was really just a filler chapter to get the school started. And yes that part about me not knowing what to write really did happen and yes I really did ignore my homework till about 11 or so. Well, review, review, review! Bye!**

**(EDITED ON 2/10/10) OMS!!! It's February! That means I owe you even more virtual plushies...**

**January: Dovepaw**

**February: Purdy**

**Congratulations on your newest animals! NOW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! **

**Oops! I forgot:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors, Acer, Mac, Apple, Razr, Yahoo, Ebay, Google, or anything that is well kown in the story! So, I own nothing that I could get sued for saying I do!**


	10. Twilight!

**It's been... so LONG. But here it is. THE LAST CHAPTER... Just kidding! Ha-ha. I'm not that horrible... Or am I? Anyway. I will not bore you with a long author's note, so here it is.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN WARRIORS. They belong to the Erin Hunters. Do not sue me. This "Do not sue me" also applies to any other brand names I've mentioned. I'm not getting into specifics since that would take much too long.**

"Lionpaw! WAKE UP!" Cloudtail screamed at the slumbering tom. Lionpaw jerked awake. "Now, tell me. What is the answer to the equation on the board?" Cloudtail asked, his eyebrows raised past his black frame glasses, which he said made him look 'smart'. Lionpaw stared at the board, seeing the equation, y+5x-231(54/3)= -450.

"Uh... Y is equal to 31? And X is equal to 65?" Lionpaw questioned his math teacher. Heatherpaw, in the seat behind him, burst out laughing. Cloudtail sighed and shook his head.

"NO! YOU DIM-WIT! YOU ARE WRONG. YOU ARE SUCH A FREAKING IDIOT. NO ONE LOVES YOU. ESPECIALLY THAT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG SHE-CAT BEHIND YOU BECAUSE SHE THINKS YOU"RE A HUGE DOUCHE. TAKE THAT, YOU DUMB BASTARD!" Cloudtail screamed in his face. Lionpaw just stared. The author is quite sorry if she turned Cloudtail's personality around, but honestly, it's been so long since she read any of the books in the series, she can't remember his personality.

"What the fuck?" He asked his teacher. Cloudtail shrugged and went back to scribbling on the board. Lionpaw sighed. Class had been going on for a week and he was already way behind. He put his head back down on the desk, drifting off into sleep.

He began to dream that he was walking along in a dark, crowded, smelly, loud... Wal-Mart. He wondered through the women's clothing, seeing a Miley Cyrus line. The tom recoiled from the pleather leggings that were featured. Lionpaw smirked evilly, getting a new idea. Whipping out his claws, he slashed through the leggings. _There. No more of those monstrosities._ He moved on to a book section, where he ran into a 7-year old girl sitting in the aisle, reading of all things, _TWILIGHT_. He gasped at the sight before him.

"OMS! GIVE ME THAT, YOU BITCH! I NEED ANOTHER COPY! Mine was stolen by Hollypaw!" Lionpaw lunged for the last copy that she holding. The girl managed to jump up.

"NO! THIS IS MINE YOU FUCKED UP CAT WHO DOESN'T KNOW SHIT AND HANGS WITH HIS CREEP DAD WHILE HE'S SLEEPING. THIS IS MY BOOK!" The 7-year old sprinted away from him running through the twisting aisles. Lionpaw wondered how this two-leg knew this… and how he knew she was 7. But, Lionpaw took off at high speed, trying to catch up with the two-leg, but even though he should be able to, he couldn't. She was taunting him with his name...

"Lionpaw! LIONPAW! It's time to go!" Hollypaw shook her brother's shoulders, attempting to rouse him. He had slept through the rest of Cloudtail's lesson, which was pretty stupid since they had a quiz on it tomorrow.

"I LOVE TWILIGHT!" He screamed bolting upright , which had all the cats turning to him despite the fact that they were leaving for their next class. He blushed a deep shade of pink as the other apprentices began to giggle. He turned pleading eyes on Hollypaw, who just shrugged. He sighed again. This was shaping up to be another long day. He smirked as he began to think of a plan…

**Meanwhile… In a totally different part of the school where principal things happen…**

"GREAT STARCLAN! This principle stuff is hard x 10. I can NOT believe I have to file papers! I have so much work to do for the clan and now I have to run a SCHOOL? I mean, Great Starclan, there is just so much going on with the yarn business and the lollipop business! Do you have any idea the demand for those? Or how hard it is to be the CEO of Yarn Is Us and Lollipops Are Yummy Inc.? DO YOU? And now I have to sit here at SCHOOL all day doing principal things! Which APPARENTLY involves separating young cats in the hallway! The hormones are WILD in this school, Graystripe! WILD. Graystripe! This is absolute hell! Do you regret being made vice principal?" Firestar rambled on and on to his best friend, who sat behind his desk… playing solitaire. Again.

"Huh? No. I don't regret it. I was entered because so many kitties wanted ME! Even though it was supposed to be deputies, I feel like a special kitty-cat," Graystripe smiled happily before realizing he lost Solitaire. Again. He burst into tears and threw himself down on his desk. Firestar yawned and patted his friend on the back.

"I know this will probably make you sadder, but you were the only one who would take the job… anyway, I'm off to do principal things! See you, Grape!" Firestar called over his shoulder. Why did he call him Grape? Because, believe it or not, Graystripe has a special fondness for grapes… and by fondness, we mean that he finds them sexually pleasing. Was that too much information?

Firestar padded out of his and Graystripe's office and into the main office where the school secretary, Whitewing, sat behind the desk, typing away. She smiled up at him as he walked past. He offered her a smile in return.

He was making his daily rounds. This is what was suggested in _Being a Principal for Dummies_. He had found this book on EBay (His best friend for life…) and had never been happier. There were some pretty good tips in there. There was a whole chapter dedicated to making bonds with the students, saying this is the most important thing a principal has to do. If not, he might be tortured… or murdered. Whatever the students felt was necessary. Either way, he felt the book was his savier. Another thing it said was to wear a "funny" tie. Today he was wearing a tie with smiley faces on it. He smiled down on it, thinking of that time he and Sandstorm "used" his tie… for erm… certain adult things that young children do not need to know about. Especially Lionpaw, who would most certainly use it to his advantage.

He suddenly heard shrieks coming from the English classroom and immediately ran into the room. Inside, he saw the most scary thing…

**Oh, woops. I left you with a cliff hanger? Yupp. Don't worry. The next chapter is already finished. And I know this one is short (1011 words in the actual chapter, to be exact) but I had to put SOMETHING up. The next one will be up in a day or two… or three. Whatever I feel is a sufficient time for you to be under suspense. Oh! And virtual plushies will be listed in another chapter along with any apprentices I had to add into the story since the other clans didn't have, like, any listed.**

**XOXO (No, that doesn't stand for kisses and hugs… it stands for Xs and Donuts! Duh)**

**~*Redstar/Brittany*~**


	11. Good CopBad Cop

**I apologize... deeply. I, however am not making this a long authors note. I don't have excuses. I don't really remember how the last chapter went and for some reason, it is not on my computer. I will do the best that I can from memory. If some things are a little off, I'm quite sorry. Oh, and my explanation for not giving you the chapter that I had on my computer? It sucked. It seriously, for real, sucked.**

**Disclaimer: I, Brittany Undisclosed Middle Name and Last Name (Mostly because then you could find my facebook, and wouldn't that be creepy?), do not own Warriors. Or anything mentioned in this story besides the story itself.**

There, in the middle of the room was Hollypaw's dead body, with students chanting around it. The cats who had shrieked were Lionpaw and Heatherpaw whose eyes were as wide as saucers. Firestar stood there, gaping. Then he burst into tears.

"My granddaughter? She's... dead?" He sobbed into his paws. Lionpaw was comforting Heatherpaw, who hadn't cared much for Hollypaw, but was still shocked at seeing such a brutally mutilated body. Neither of the cats thought to go question the students who had killed Hollypaw and were now performing some ceremony over her.

Squirrelflight and Graystripe could hear the sobs and chanting all the way down in the office. Squirrelflight figured that she should go check. Just to be safe, she grabbed Graystripe by his tie, who was still playing solitaire at his desk, and started to drag him from his office. "HEY. I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF AN IMPORTANT MATTER. AND DON'T YOU DARE RIP MY TIE. IT HAS PRETTY POLKA DOTS ON IT," Graystripe yelled at Squirrelflight as she dragged him from the room by his tie. Graystripe's ears perked up at the sound of chanting.

As they entered the English classroom, Squirrelflight immediately went over to comfort Firestar (She wasn't crying, which seemed odd to most cats). Graystripe, for once being intelligent, called in the other teachers on his walkie-talkie. Brambleclaw, Leafpool (being the school nurse), and Mistyfoot came rushing into the room, but stopped dead in their tracks as they took in the scene. Brambleclaw ran over to comfort Squirrelflight (Who still wasn't crying, but was probably in shock or something) while Leafpool starting bawling her eyes out. Mistyfoot was the only calm cat.

Mistyfoot cleared her throat loudly. When no was responded, she whistled as loudly as possible. Everyone but the chanting students looked at her. "So, we've suffered a great tragedy. Hollypaw has been brutally murdered. By the sound of those chanting students, I assume it was them who did it. Now, we have to restrain the cats and question them. Okay? Go!" She ordered the cats who weren't crying. Brambleclaw, Graystripe, Lionpaw, Heatherpaw and Squirrelflight went and helped Mistyfoot restrain the four cats. They couldn't see who they were because they wore dark purple cloaks. They dragged them off into another room.

THREE HOURS LATER

"STARCLAN DAMNIT. TELL ME WHY YOU DID THIS!" Graystripe screamed at Breezepaw who had been one of the cloaked cats. Breezepaw rolled his eyes.

"I'm not speaking until I have a lawyer present," He stated for about the billionth time. Graystripe hissed before stalking out of the small conference room/interrogation room. Firestar and Sandstorm were standing on the otherside of two-way mirror with Mistyfoot.

"Get him a fucking lawyer so he talks!" Graystripe growled at Firestar. Firestar sighed then called Crowfeather.

"So, Crowfeather, man. You know how your son helped murder my granddaughter? Well, he needs a lawyer. Now. So he'll tell us why he helped murder my granddaughter," Firestar spoke into the blackberry. You could hear Crowfeather's voice on the other side of the phone.

"I just got home, Firestar! Nightcloud is being all bitchy because you arrested her 'super amazing' son! Ugh. Yeah, I'll send the lawyer over. Why can't you question the other apprentices?" Crowfeather voice from the other end of the phone growled.

"Because they just keep saying 'Because he told us to. He is all powerful and awesome. And totally hot'," Firestar answered. Crowfeather hung up on him. Graystripe scratched his chin.

"Well, dude. I am so done playing Bad Cop! Have Sandstorm do it. And you can be Good Cop! IT WOULD BE SO COOOOL. DO IT!" Graystripe shrieked like a tween at a Justin Bieber concert. Sandstorm rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. We'll wait for his lawyer. So, I figured that 'he' could be Tigerstar, right? Makes sense. He usually is behind evil stuff like this," Sandstorm mused.

"Eh. I don't think so. He's on vacation in Maui. He would never work while on vacation," Firestar pointed out.

"How the Dark Forest do you know what Tigerstar is up to?" Mistyfoot asked while narrowing her eyes suspiciously at Firestar. Firestar shuffled his paws nervously.

"Well, um. He is on the SBI's (Starclan Bureau of Investigation) Most Wanted List. And well, I have friends in the SBI who keep me informed. It's not because I'm actually an SBI agent," Firestar laughed, sweating a little bit. Mistyfoot narrowed her eyes even more but nodded. Firestar gulped. He had never been a very good liar so he was amazed she bought it. Especially since he had made it so blatantly obvious. Mistyfoot obviously wasn't as sharp as she used to be.

"Hellooooo, I'm totes here!" a female voice rang out from the interrogation room. The cats looked up in surprise to see a perky blonde cat.

"Who the Dark Forest is that?" Sandstorm growled.

"Well, judging by the fact that she has a briefcase, I assume she's Breezepaw's lawyer. Ready for Good Cop/Bad Cop?" Firestar smiled, ready to play his role. Sandstorm rolled her eyes, yet again. She followed Firestar out of the room.

"Well, this should be entertaining," Mistyfoot murmered. Graystripe nodded as he sat down in a recliner with a huge bowl of popcorn (extra, extra butter, please). They watched as Firestar walked in first, huge smile on his face, Sandstorm behind him, scowling. "You know, can I just say that having grandparents interrogate someone who helped murder their grand daughter is a bit insane? I mean, what if they get all rawr and tear them apart?" Mistyfoot pointed out to Graystripe. Graystripe just shrugged and turned his attention back to the other room.

"Who, exactly, are you?" Sandstorm growled at the perky blonde lawyer. The lawyer smiled, but at Firestar, directing all her attention to him.

"Hello! I'm Sunshineheart! I'm Breezepaw's lawyer! And you're Firestar and Sandstorm! Like, totes the most awesome couple in the history of the clans. Besides Spottedleaf and Firestar because they, like, totes had this secret romance going on for them and it was just so, like, cuuuute!" Sunshineheart giggled despite the daggers Sandstorm was glaring at her.

"So, Sunshineheart, mind if I call you Sunny? Sunshineheart is just too much to say," Firestar blinked his eyes a few times, innocently.

"Sure! My ex-boyfriend called me Sunflower! Idk why. I mean, like, my name is Sunshine. So idk why he would call me Sunflower! But Sunny is just fine with me! A-okay, actually! Oh! But we should get to work! So, like, Breezepaw is accused of murdering Hollypaw? Right? And like, he wont talk without me? I gots to talk to him alone for a min-min. Could you guys, like, leave the room for a min-min?" Sunshineheart says in all one breath. Firestar nods and leaves with Sandstorm.

"Does she not realize we can hear whatever they say because they're in an interrogation room? How dumb is she?" Sandstorm snorted as they watched Sunny whisper in Breezepaw's ear.

"Uh, actually, we can't hear them at all. She's a good whisperer," Graystripe said matter-of-factly, while crunching his popcorn. "I like what she said about Firestar and Spottedleaf. It's so true. I mean, Sandy, you and Fire are perfect for eachother and all. But, like she said, him and Spot were just, passion. It was like a romance novel for them," Graystripe heaved a great sigh, staring off into the distance. Sandstorm stomped on his paw before leaving the room with a door slam.

"Gee, that was smart, Graystripe. Or should I say, Gray? Now Mistyfoot has to play bad cop!" Firestar moaned, obviously not looking forward to it. "Sandstorm is going to be soooo pissed tonight! Not cool, man. Not. Cool," Firestar moaned again, not looking forward to the night ahead of him.

"Hey guys! I'm totes ready for you!" Sunny called toward the mirror in the interrogation room. Firestar and Mistyfoot sighed again before leaving the room.

**And bam. I'll update next week. No promises. But, I hopefully will. If not, be prepared to wait anotehr couple months, since that seems to be my usual update speed. Though I can't understand why, since each chapter only takes a half hour or so. Whatever.**

**Oh!**

**Here's a virtual plushie to make your wait easier on you. It's Dovepaw, by the way.**

**(And, by the way, about 3,322 words. I don't really remember, but I think that's right. Oh, and Sunny really was using idk, I wasn't just to lazy to spell out I don't know)**


	12. The god of Horrible Vampire Novels

** Ah, summer is drawing to a close in my small (tiny, miniscule, microscopic) Vermont town. Even though it's only the middle of August, the leaves are changing and I've already had to start wearing pants (as opposed to shorts, I wasn't just walking around in the nude). It's time to say goodbye to the delicious creamies the gas station/food place makes (One of only two stores in town. Really, their food is yummy). The rest of you who aren't already packing away summer clothes and saying farewell to creamies, I'm jealous. I'll start the story now. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Blah, Blah, Blah, I don't own Warriors etc. I only own the story itself and whatever characters I've invented. I also own the laptop I wrote it on. And my cellphone. And iPod. And you get where I'm going with this.**

Firestar and Mistyfoot entered the interrogation room, Mistyfoot glaring at Sunny. Sunny just smiled brightly at the new cat, obviously not thinking it odd in the slightest that another cat had taken Sandstorm's place.

"Hello! I'm Sunshineheart, Breezepaw's lawyer! But you can just call me Sunny! Firestar does! Who are you? OH! You're, like, the deputy of RiverClan, riiiight? Oh yeah, you totes are. I totes recognize you! I mean, I've like, never been to a gathering because I'm like, not apart of the clans, even though I totes have a clan name! I'm, like, actually just fake-part of Windclan. My mom actually called me Sunshine, but Windclan said that if I was their lawyer, I, like, had to have a clan name! So yeah! That's why my name is Sunshineheart! So, like, can we get started?" Sunny said in all one-breath, yet again. That seemed to be her thing. "What are the charges against my client, exactly?" Sunny asked, her voice suddenly becoming serious.

"He was seen with three other cats, chanting around a dead student's body. It's believed he helped to murder the student, as a sacrifice for someone. Breezepaw is the only who hasn't just said that 'he told me to do it'. He agreed to talk with us if his lawyer was here," Mistyfoot stated clearly, before sitting down on the other side of the table. Firestar say down next to her, waiting for something interesting to happen.

"Breezepaw says that he was coerced into helping with the murder," Sunny told Mistyfoot. Firestar raised an eyebrow.

"He's admitting to murder?" Firestar murmured softly, thinking it was rather odd.

"HE KILLED FIRESTAR'S GRANDDAUGHTER! HE BETTER START TALKING!" Mistyfoot started screaming in Sunny's face, springing out of her chair across the table. Obviously, she was trying to be the Bad Cop. Sunny shrank away, nodding.

"I've advised Breezepaw to tell you everything he knows about Hollypaw's murder," Sunny whispered softly. Mistyfoot nodded and sat back down. Sunny nudged Breezepaw, signaling him to start.

"Well. I was hanging out with some other apprentices. The ones who were with me this morning, Mothpaw, Morningpaw, and Lightpaw. Yes, I'm aware they're all she-cats. That's sort of the point. Anyway, we were by this rock, a HUGE rock, and all of a sudden, some white, sparkly two-leg just comes out from behind it! And he just starting flirting with the she-cats! And I'm basically super, super confused because how could we possibly understand him? And why the Dark Forest was a two-leg flirting with a cat? Not to mention, where on earth did he come from? But the she-cats were totally in love. Like, BAM. And he was all 'Oh, by the way, you know that cat in ThunderClan? The one named Hollypaw? Well, I want you to kill her and sacrifice her to the god of Horrible Vampire Novels, in the hopes that the people who write them will stop.' And the she-cats just started nodding and told him that they would OF COURSE do anything for him! By now, I'm thinking that I should get the potato **(potato = fuck, or any swear, really)** out of there! But then the she-cats are all like 'Breezepaw will help us! Wont you, Breezy baby?'. So I had to agree, right? And then the sparkly dude left. I don't know who he was. So, this was all yesterday, right? Well, today, Lightpaw saw that Hollypaw was in a room by herself, so she got the rest of us and Mothpaw hit her over the head with a chair, and that was that," Breezepaw finished his story. Firestar sat there, just gaping at him. Mistyfoot stared.

"A white, sparkly guy? Firestar, do you know who that is?" Mistyfoot asked Firestar before turning her attention back to Breezepaw.

"Uh, no. But I'll go check with Graystripe, he might know. Will you be okay, Breezepaw? Hmm? Want something to eat or drink? What about you, Sunny?" Firestar purred to them, oozing niceness. Breezepaw shook his head but Sunny nodded.

"Could you get me a diet cook, pretty please? Thanks, Firestar!" Sunny meowed cheerfully. Firestar smiled before going out the door, on his way to the other room. He entered to see Graystripe staring through the glass, his mouth hanging open.

"Hey, you know who Bree-" Firestar was cut off by Graystripe jumping up and starting to ramble.

"OMS, FIRESTAR! I KNOW WHO IT IS! I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW! IT'S SO OBVIOUS! HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW? BUT HE'S IN A BOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHY OR HOW HE WAS HERE! I REALLY DON'T GET IT! BUT WHATEVER! AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY HE WOULD WANT VAMPIRE BOOKS TO BE DESTROYED BECAUSE HE'S IN ONE!" Graystripe was yelling while jumping up and down.

"GRAYSTRIPE! WHO IS IT?" Firestar shrieked at his jumping best friend. He sighed as he looked at the spilled mess of popcorn.

"Oh! It's Edward Cullen! The dude from Twilight? You haven't read Twilight? Or heard of it? What do you do, live in a cave? Oh, wait, you do..." Graystripe trailed off after realizing that Firestar's den was, in fact, in a cave. Firestar nodded.

"Well, I'll just call the SBI and have them arrest him!" Firestar smiled while pulling out his blackberry. He dialed in a very long number before putting it to his ear. "Hey, Thunderstar. Yeah, it's Firestar. Uh, no. I can't really talk about that right now... there's a civilian in the room. Mhm. Well, we caught who murder Hollypaw. It's Edward Cullen? Apparently, he's a vampire in Twilight. You know who he is? You got it covered? Okay. Yeah, I'll check in later about the other matter." Graystripe only heard Firestar's side of the conversation, but didn't appear to find it weird that he was called a civilian (as opposed to Firestar being what...?).

"God, I knew Edward was an evil dude all along. When's Hollypaw's funeral, by the way?" Graystripe asked Firestar, but Firestar just shrugged before grabbing a diet coke and leaving the room.

"Here you go, Sunny," Firestar smiled before setting the coke down in front of the blonde cat. She smiled back at him before opening the can and taking a sip.

"Do you think we're going to let you get away with it, Breezepaw? NO. YOU WERE AN ACCOMPLICE! AND SINCE I FIND JUDGES TEDIOUS AND WHO THE DARK FOREST CARES IF I JUST PUT YOU IN JAIL? No one does! So, Breezepaw, you'll be locked in a cell for the next 6 moons. You'll still have to stay caught up in school though. Understand? As for the other cats, I'll be putting them in a mental facility! NOW GET THE DARK FOREST OUT OF HERE!" Mistyfoot screamed. Sunny scrambled up and grabbed Breezepaw before heading for the hall.

"Uh, Mistyfoot, we sort of have to have him locked up..." Firestar pointed out to the she-cat who growled before getting up and calling for a big, burly guard.

"Hey, go put Breezepaw in one of the cells in the basement. Go!" She ordered the tom who rushed out of the room to grab the apprentice.

"Well. What a tough day," Firestar murmured before grabbing the diet coke and finishing it himself. Mistyfoot nodded in agreement. Firestar yawned, thinking about going home to Sandstorm. He groaned, hating Graystripe in the one moment.

LATER THAT NIGHT

"I HATE YOU! WHY DON'T YOU JUST DIE AND GO BE WITH SPOTTEDLEAF IF YOU AND HER ARE SO FUCKING PERFECT FOR EACHOTHER!" Sandstorm screamed at Firestar who was attempting to do some work on his laptop. He sighed, thinking, _Oh, I would if I could._ "WILL YOU FUCKING TALK, YOU NO-GOOD SON OF A BITCH?" Sandstorm shrieked at him.

"Hey! My mom was not a female dog! She was a female cat, thank you very much," Firestar answered Sandstorm's request to speak. She hissed before storming out of the cave.

**Done and Done. I've managed to update on time. I said Monday and here it is! :D Maybe not that funny. But whatever. Maybe I'll go back and put in some funny parts... meh. Probably not.**

**Virtual Plushie? Right. Here's Breezepaw. I don't think I've given him to you. Do as you please with him. **

**Oh. And the three Edward Loving apprentices? They're just some apprentices I made up. They're in Windclan.**

**And I'll take this moment to let everyone know that I just checked my email to see if my history teacher had graded my summer history paper and I got a 97 :D Yes! I feel like a winner. I would have gotten a 100 if I had removed the spaces after the paragraphs... pssht. Then again, if you give a girl a bad grade when she wrote about her dead brother, you're cold and heartless. It was about what shaped our lives, by the way. Have a nice day, everyone(:  
**


	13. He's A Secret Agent Caaaat

**Oh hi there! About time I updated right? Ah, well, better late than never I guess.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors or any goddamn brand name thing in this story! I only own the story itself which is really a compilation of millions of stories I've read about Warriors with my own twist on them! Sooo, I don't even know if I technically own the story since it's basically me stealing ideas and just throwing them together. Whatever.**

Sandstorm hadn't talked to Firestar for 3 days since their huge argument. Firestar hadn't really noticed. He was far too emerged in his work considering he had a school to run, ThunderClan Weekly (ThunderClan's premier newspaper) to edit, TBC (ThunderClan Broadcasting Channel) to oversee, a secret job with the SBI, and a whole entire clan to run. He sometimes wondered if he took on too much work. But he usually dispersed with those ideas and quickly moved on to some work.

At this moment, Firestar was looking over construction plans for a new Warriors den. The new plans had a flat screen TV for all the senior warriors' nests. The den was about twice the size of the first one and made out of brick. Also, the nests were to be lined with feathers, nothing else. He groaned when he saw that there was also a passcode for the door. He ran a paw through his head fur.

"This is a little much," He muttered to himself. His eyes strayed over to the projected cost of such a renovation. His eyes bulged. "4 million? FOR A GODDAMN DEN? NO. JUST NO," He shrieked at the top of his lungs. "GRAYSTRIPE!" Firestar yelled for his deputy. Graystripe came running into the den.

"Yeah, boss? Want me to get rid of someone for ya?" Graystripe sounded oddly like a mobster. He also had on a fedora. Firestar stared.

"Did you watch The Godfather again?" Firestar raised his eyebrow. Graystripe shuffled his paws nervously.

"Maybe. Uh, what did you want?" Graystripe asked with guilt in his voice.

"I told you not to watch that movie! You get all obsessive over Mafia matters! Last time, you almost ran away to join the mob! StarClan damnit. I want you to modify these plans! I said the budget was 1.5 million! And this costs 4! FOUR! THE NURSERY WAS LESS THAN THAT! WHAT DO YOU WARRIORS THINK I AM? MADE OF MONEY?" Firest blew up. All his stress had really gotten to him. Graystripe's eyes widened, as if he was frightened of his best friend.

Just then, Firestar's phone rang. He snatched it from his desk. "What?" he snapped into it. His face went from pissed to embarrassed when the person on the other end identified himself. "Oh. Hello Thunderstar. Sorry, just a little stressed. I know, I know, you do about 3 times as much as me. I don't know how you do it. Oh. I forgot to call about that matter. I'm sorry! Yes, sir! I'll be there momentarily! Sir, there's a civilian in the room. What? I'm not a civilian! I'm a special agent! DAMNIT. Did you just purposely make me blow my cover, Thunderstar? No? Fine. I'll ask Graystripe if he heard me," Firestar covered the phone speaker with his paw. "Graystripe, did you hear what I said to Thunderstar?" Firestar asked the gray cat. The gray cat who was transfixed by the shiny new Apple laptop Firestar had on his desk.

"Hmm? You say something, Firestar?" Graystripe didn't even look up from his paws, which were caressing the laptop. Firestar rolled his eyes.

"No, he didn't hear. Yes, sir, I'll be there as soon as I can. Okay, make that 8 hours. I can't be there any sooner! How do you expect me to get to the United States in less than 8 hours? It's just not happening! Sorry for the disrespect, but it's true. Yes, I'll go get on the jet right now. Good bye, sir," Firestar pressed the off button on his phone. "Graystripe, I gotta go to the U.S for business. I'll be back in two days. Don't ruin my clan. Oh. Tell Sandstorm I love her," Firestar told him before he grabbed an already packed suitcase and ran for the door. Graystripe stared.

"I wonder about that cat sometimes. Then again, I wonder about myself. But still, how does he not notice that Sandstorm hasn't talked to him in three days? She's likely to bite my head off if I tell her he loves her. I probably shouldn't talk to myself. Some cats might think I'm crazy,"Graystripe said to himself before walked out the door of the cave, closing it tight behind him. He walks over to Milly to see if she wants to go grab some tea.

"Sure, Graystripe, baby! Why not?" Milly smiles at her man. The rest of the day in Thunderclan territory passes uneventfully. Except for Lionpaw pushing Daisy off a cliff, but she landed on her feet, so it was all good.

Meanwhile, on a private jet to the United States...

"Excuse me, Firestar, would you like some caviar?" a pretty tabby she-cat smiles at the Thunderclan leader/SBI agent/ principal/Thunderclan weekly editor. He shakes his head since he's busy reviewing the case file.

Name: Unknown

Aliases: Ginger, Weasly, and Princess

Appearance: Red long haired she-cat with green eyes.

Age: Approximately 60 moons

This was really all they knew about Ginger. The only other things the SBI knew was that she was an evil assassin who had killed 13 cats. Firestar has suspicions that she may had been trained by Tigerstar, but who really knew? Either way, she was Firestar's next assignment and he was bound and determined to catch her.

A few hours later...

"FUCK YOU, FIRESTAR! FUCK YOU! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE TO GO TO THE STARCLAN DAMN UNITED STATES WITHOUT TELLING ME! AND TELLING GRAYSTRIPE TO TELL ME YOU LOVE ME IS SOOOO NOT GONNA FIX ANYTHING AT ALL! I HATE YOU, FIRESTAR! YOU NO GOOD, DIRTY, LYING, SON OF A BITCH! I HOPE YOU DIE ON THIS SUPER SECRET SPY MISSION OF YOURS! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT'S WHAT IT ACTUALLY IS! AND I SWEAR, I WILL SO NOT FORGIVE YOU LIKE I DID LAST TIME YOU WENT ON ONE OF THESE MISSIONS AND HAD TO PRETEND TO BE IN LOVE WITH SOME WHORE SHE-CAT! YOU UNDERSTAND ME? GO TO THE DARK FOREST, FIRESTAR! AND DON'T COME HOME!" Sandstorm screamed in his ear from thousands of miles away. She hung up before he could reply. _That was harsh, _Firestar thought. He shrugged and climbed into a taxi.

**Yes, no, maybe so? You like the idea of Firestar being a secret agent? I think I'm gonna have him say, "The name's Star, Firestar." Any who, at least I updated, non? Like the french I just thew in there? It's okay, I hardly know anymore. You'd think I would, having been in French for 3 months. But, alas, non. Anywho. Would you like a plushy? Who have I not already given you? Ah, well, here's a Thunderstar. Oh, yes, and quite sorry for any mistakes regarding English money or what not. I explained quite a long time ago that I have no idea how the euro system works or whatever it is that Great Britain uses, so I will continue to use American money even though they live in the best place in the whole entire world, Great Britain, the land of the most fantastic accents in the whole world. An English accent makes anyone about 10 times hotter than they were before they spoke.**

**Bye, darlings. Until next time, au revoir.**


	14. Is this the end?

**Hey Guys. I'm putting this story on hiatus. Maybe for forever.  
****It's just, the story doesn't make sense to me anymore. I can't write it. Because how could humans not notice a cat zooming around a city in a taxi? It just, it doesn't happen.  
****Is this the end? It may be. But I'll keep it here and won't change it to completed unless I know for sure I want nothing to do with it.**

**And so I don't get in trouble, here's a tid bit of a story.**

****"OMJ, FIRESTAR. YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS VIDEO OF A CUTE CAT I FOUND ON YOUTUBE!" Graystripe screamed through the phone. Firestar heaved a great sigh and rubbed his head.

"A bit busy here, Graystripe. I'm spying and all... besides, why would I want to see a video of a cat, when I am a cat? It just doesn't make any sense. I have to go do spying things now. Go both Sandstorm with your cat videos," Firestar hung up and went back to spying.

**Goodbye, everyone! Hopefully I'll change my mind and continue with my story.**


End file.
